“I’m gonna go with the flow”
Only dead fish go with the flow.
“I’m too a dead fish”.
With every passing year grew her hopes. Hope for a better life, comfortable future, self-made identity, social acceptance and an unconditional love. Money and carrier seemed so less important. All those dreams seen with open eyes at almost all the time of the day. Ever since she reached an age where the brain begins to rationalize, she planned her future in her head. Plans like – I have a single sketch pen today but one day I will have a complete kit. Plans like- I missed getting that toy today but I’ll buy a lot of them for myself one day. Dreams like- I want to be happy one day !! She was not a dead fish.
Not every person wants money in their life. Some people dream way beyond that. Their desires can’t be told because they’ll get happy by the tiniest of the things. She was the one. Always in search of anything that can excite the little kid in her and always ready to accept people as they come. She was no mother Teresa but you can call her a modern-day replica of the kind lady. She was going with the flow.
Then there was ANOTHER “she”. This other she was bossy by Birth but the male dominance and her mother’s weaknesses weakened her. As she grew her dreams shrunk. The one who dreamt of bossing the world started dreaming of a job. Not that she was ever short of money given by her father but her earned money was going to make her powerful, she thought.
She #1 failed at the world. Couldn’t face the jerks and the mean souls around her. The end of her love life shattered her in a way that her dreams changed. To forget what she is, she decided to be someone she never thought of. A loner! A people’s person started enjoying solidarity for she wanted to avoid people and their mean side. Enrolling herself into more and more courses was her idea of escaping the reality of life.
She #2 started to hate people for she had comes across a lot of rascals and so she had major trust issues. She started being almost an anti-social from her teenage. The lesser the people the lesser the drama. While she was studying subjects she never wanted to since her school time, she lost all her interest. Now she didn’t know what she wants to do. Graduation, post-graduation, first job, second job…fit in everything but not by choice.
She #1 and She #2 were very close to each other. They were not the exact copy of one another because it was their souls that were attached, not the brain. Their age dumped them in a place where they still don’t know what they want to be but their families want them to be wives. The marriage !!
She#1 is wearing all her degrees, diplomas and certifications as war suit but couldn’t escape being tied with a random guy. She#2 tried staying strong and tough all her life, not showing her real self to the world. Doing what all could save her from people’s eyes and even being in a relationship can’t prepare her to get married.
Both the SHEs have been something they never wanted to be all their lives. While they are still on a chance to chase their forgotten selves and to know what they really are, they are forced to again be someone’s something. Someone their partners would want them to be. The pressure of being tied up with someone is at a height that they might end up getting married to end the marriage topic forEVER!! Now she is a dead fish. The dead fish is now going with the flow.