I usually surround myself with an invisible bubble that keeps new people away from me. I am not so easily approachable. I do not like most of the people and so I hesitate when it comes to being social. I hate to socialize because it includes talking to those you don’t even want to see. Though I have a few people I love and hang out with I picked them for me. I don’t know how to start a conversation with a new and random person. I might just spend the whole time waiting for the other person to initiate (and if one doesn’t, even better!!) and that makes me a Socially Awkward Butterfly (so what if I’m socially awkward, I’m still a butterfly).
Being a social butterfly doesn’t mean that I always need to talk. For me, it is just listening to others at the beginning. If anyone tries to talk, I listen. If I feel like talking or suggesting anything I do it. I feel it’s better if I talk less and listen more. This way I can learn about people before they can know about me and so I can choose the people I would like to talk by myself.
Talking too much can backfire too. People can sometimes act really stupid. That can interpret different meanings of what you say. They may take anything in a wrong way. They can filter or colour your words according to their understanding and convenience. They may even spread rumours about you saying that you said something that you never did. Talking less can prevent this and can be a plus point for me.
You cannot escape socialization. Wherever you are, whatever you do, you need to interact. If you cannot talk, you can’t survive, some people can win just by the words, others may lose by the same way. My social awkwardness has made me hesitant, under-confident and unnecessarily shy. Knowing that I’m better off many others, I still feel shy in raising the hand and making any point.
Every day is a challenge for me; the world is full of humans. Wherever your head turns, you’ll find people. I can be an extrovert if I find the right person to talk to but then that’s another task. The world doesn’t accept introverts but interestingly, introverts have their own world. Maybe, what matters most is being happy- with people around or without anyone around.